Bill Drury

Tongue-In-Cheek ... Foot-In-Mouth

elect drury in 2008 • archive • bio • contact • home

Bill Drury"It's a good feeling to laugh, but a much better feeling to have made someone laugh."

My columns are basically a race between my tongue and my foot to see which one can get into position first, hence the name: "Tongue-In-Cheek...Foot-In-Mouth."

If my tongue wins you'll think I'm full of whimsical exaggeration. But if my foot wins you'll think I'm an idiot. Hopefully in either case you'll be laughing, sometimes with me and sometimes at me. But as long as you are laughing, well, then I've done my job.

Now, I know what you are thinking, you're thinking with my tongue so close to my cheek, actually inside my mouth, it should always be the hands down winner. However, my feet are unbelievably quick. Bruce Lee's feet should have been so fast.

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This Week's Column

SOCCER MOMS

Posted: 06/20/2008

Back in the 60's, when my generation was growing up, our parents loved and cared for us, BUT their parenting was characterized as “hands off.”  And as long as you were not being dragged away by an alligator, they pretty much left us to our own doings. They NEVER got into our faces, hovering over us vulture-like overly concerned and excessively worried about every single thing we did.

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Television and Movie Producers!

I have written and copyrighted my first screenplay; it's a horror titled, "For All Eternity," and it's filled with humor, sex, drugs, and rock & roll. Well, okay, no drugs, and the rock & roll is less like rock & roll and more like bluegrass. BUT there are alligators! Lots of them! Oh, and a snake—a BIG one!

Contact me if you'd like to read it. I will sign off on your release form and send it along with my work. First come first served. I will not provide multiple readings. And once I am contacted, I will remove this notice from my website.

Anyway, here is the logline: Tim Grimes was a gentle little boy living in Florida with his loving single mother, who, in order to be able to provide for Tim, became a prostitute. One day his world is shattered when he witnesses her brutal murder. Scared by what he saw and with a deep hatred for hookers, years later he returns to Florida, purchases an alligator farm, kills call-girls, and feeds the bodies to the alligators removing any evidenced of his carnage. During one attempted slaughter, Tim seems to die, and this results in a horrifying realization.

© 2007-2008 Bill Drury